Wha?

My afternoon entertainment was as follows:

I received an email today saying that my telephone bill is online.
I want to pay this right away as the last one took a long time to be processed and was almost late so I thought - best to get it out of the way...
But when I try to pay it, I can't because the phone company has not printed it yet and the bank won't let me pay it because telecom has not told them that I owe them money. I am not allowed to pay them money unless I owe them money. But I do owe them money - can I pay? Please, I ask? No, you don't owe them money yet. But I received a bill. Maybe it is some sort of an advance bill that lets you know that you will be owing money in the future? How come they charge me for phone calls I haven't made yet, quote ~based on predications about my past usages~ but I can't give them payment in advance for a bill I "haven't received" yet (even though I have)?

And why on earth would I want to pay my bill that I have seen but does not exist, before I get it, when I receive it, before it's due anyway?

Think German rules. With no logic. And more paperwork.
Is there a patron saint of logic? Let me take a wild guess and surmise that he or she is not Italian.

I'm going to wait until I get the bill in the mail and pay it online when the bank lets me, after of course, I have had a small glass of wine and a biscuit, and debated whether or not I have actually received it. I must let go of this whole efficiency habit - it really is quite exhausting.

Oh, who am I kidding? Shoot me now :)

And Sail the Seas Piratical...

Ahem...
I've decided that there's not enough silliness going on in me world. I have been focused too much on parental illness and my ineptness in not knowing how to wiggle me nose and have everything be better. The great circle of circling crap that we call life has a tendency to roll 'round and bite you and doesn't really care if you are not really into it. Bah to that! So without further ado...

Ahoy!
Aye, I know you've all bin waitin'. Break out the eye patch and dust off yer hook.
Finally, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

You think I'm foolin' and I just made this up? Har har!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

And for me favoured pirates living in a German locale...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howtogerman.html

Arr me hearties, lastly I present the means to yer Pirate Name (lads and lasses both can apply)
http://www.piratequiz.com/

& Fer those a you wit no time fer quizzes...there's a pirate name generator here:
http://www.privateerdragons.com/caseys_shiphold2.html

I hope all is well, your seas are calm, your grog plentiful and there be no sharks or scurvy among yahs.

I remain, as always,

The Piratess Mad Dog Do, Plunderess of Good Purse Sales, She who read too many adventure novels as a child, Terror of the Seas, arrr, I forget the rest...where be me coffee?

Stupid slow soul.

I've been feeling melancholy for the last few days. So staying true to my current -why the heck am I in this strange land away - got a wicked funk going on blueness, I give you my favourite quote on emptiness and jet lag (oh, and there are soooo many to choose from, I know!). This is from William Gibson’s Pattern Recognition.

"She knows, now, absolutely…that Damien’s theory of jet lag is correct: that her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled in on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet over the Atlantic. Souls can’t move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage. "

Hm, so that's why I feel like part of me is missing sometimes. Find me yet?