Wha?

My afternoon entertainment was as follows:

I received an email today saying that my telephone bill is online.
I want to pay this right away as the last one took a long time to be processed and was almost late so I thought - best to get it out of the way...
But when I try to pay it, I can't because the phone company has not printed it yet and the bank won't let me pay it because telecom has not told them that I owe them money. I am not allowed to pay them money unless I owe them money. But I do owe them money - can I pay? Please, I ask? No, you don't owe them money yet. But I received a bill. Maybe it is some sort of an advance bill that lets you know that you will be owing money in the future? How come they charge me for phone calls I haven't made yet, quote ~based on predications about my past usages~ but I can't give them payment in advance for a bill I "haven't received" yet (even though I have)?

And why on earth would I want to pay my bill that I have seen but does not exist, before I get it, when I receive it, before it's due anyway?

Think German rules. With no logic. And more paperwork.
Is there a patron saint of logic? Let me take a wild guess and surmise that he or she is not Italian.

I'm going to wait until I get the bill in the mail and pay it online when the bank lets me, after of course, I have had a small glass of wine and a biscuit, and debated whether or not I have actually received it. I must let go of this whole efficiency habit - it really is quite exhausting.

Oh, who am I kidding? Shoot me now :)